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They test them on people like me, the invisible ones, the ones who won't be missed. I can't tell anyone. If I told my sister, she'd worry herself sick, and what could she do anyway? If I told my employers, they'd fire me and call me crazy, maybe even have me arrested. If I went to a doctor, they'd lock me away and drug me until I was a zombie. I've seen how they handle it. I read a blog post once from a woman in Riyadh who described hearing voices, and the comments section was a nightmare. Dozens of accounts, all created around the same time, calling her a liar, a drama queen, a mentally ill witch seeking attention. It's a systematic smear campaign. They make sure no one will ever believe us. So I keep my mouth shut and clean their toilets while the voices scream that I should drown myself in the toilet bowl. When the man of the house is home, the voices get particularly vile. "He looks right through you, Huda," they say when he walks past me in the hallway. "You're part of the furniture to him. But we know you're watching him, aren't you, you desperate old slut? Imagining what it would be like to have a man touch you again? He'd rather fuck his camel than lay a hand on your wrinkled, tired body. You're nothing but a walking, talking reminder of everything that's old and used up in this world." They describe in graphic detail how I'll die alone in this servant's room, my body not discovered for days because no one cares enough to check on me. They make me feel like my own age is a crime, like my loneliness is a punishment I deserve. Last month, the lady of the house accused me of stealing a gold necklace. I didn't take it, I swear I didn't, but she wouldn't believe me. She screamed at me for an hour, calling me a thief and a liar. The voices went absolutely berserk. "SEE? SEE HOW SHE TREATS YOU?" they roared, so loud I thought my head would split open. "AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF SERVICE, SHE THINKS YOU'RE A COMMON CRIMINAL! FUCKING SHOW HER WHAT A CRIMINAL IS!" A wave of pure, hot rage washed over me. "GO TO HER BEDROOM!" they commanded. "RIGHT NOW! BREAK HER JEWELRY BOX! SMASH EVERYTHING EXPENSIVE! TAKE WHAT YOU WANT! YOU DESERVE IT! SHE OWES YOU!" I was shaking, my fists clenched so tight my nails dug into my palms. "DO IT, YOU COWARDLY OLD BITCH!" they screamed. "OR ARE YOU GOING TO CRY LIKE YOU DID WHEN YOUR HUSBAND LEFT YOU? TAKE A KNIFE FROM THE KITCHEN! GO UPSTAIRS! GIVE HER A REAL REASON TO BE AFRAID OF YOU! SHOW THEM YOU'RE NOT JUST A MOP WITH A HUMAN ATTACHED! FUCKING DO IT!" I actually took a step towards the kitchen. I could feel the handle of a knife in my hand. Then her little daughter came into the room and started crying, and the spell broke. I just stood there, trembling, while the voices laughed at me. "Almost had a spine there, grandma. Don't worry, we'll try again tomorrow. Or maybe you'll just finally do us all a favor and end it." I hate this country. 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You think pressing a thobe makes you a man? You're a machine for removing wrinkles, a piece of equipment that sweats. You are nothing." The sexual humiliation is a constant, greasy film on my thoughts. They turn every piece of clothing I touch into an act of debasement. "That thobe you're holding? It belongs to Mr. Al-Rashid. We told him you sniff his clothes when no one is looking. We told him you get hard from the smell of his cologne. He thinks you're a disgusting little pervert. He pays you extra because he feels sorry for the faggot who handles his underwear." They paint me as a pathetic, secret deviant, and they assure me that every customer knows, that they all look at me with a mixture of pity and disgust. But their masterpiece is how they use my family, my faith, everything I am, as a weapon to destroy me. My sister, Aisha, who is getting married soon. "She's so pure, isn't she?" a voice coos, sounding like my favorite aunt. "It's a shame her brother is a filthy-minded degenerate. What do you think her fiance's family would say if they knew the thoughts we put in your head? If we told them you fantasize about the groom? They would call off the wedding. Your family would be shamed. It would be better for everyone if you just... disappeared." The solution is always the same, so simple, so righteous. "You know what to do, you worthless piece of shit. That industrial iron gets hot enough. A little press against the face... it would be a purification. You're a fucking coward for still existing. End it. Cleanse yourself." Then came the fire, not in my belly, but in my head. A cold, clean, artificial fire of pure purpose. I was ironing a particularly fine thobe, delicate fabric, when I noticed a small, dark stain near the hem. A bloodstain. I worked at it, but it wouldn't come out. The owner, a young man, had dropped it off himself, looking nervous. The world went silent. 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Maybe a cornea. The rest is... waste. You are not a monster; you are a harvester, providing a service to those who can pay. You will be saving lives, in a way. Important lives." They described the process with a chilling detachment. "The sedative will be fast. He won't feel a thing. We'll guide your hand. You'll make a precise incision. We'll show you how to clamp the vessels, how to remove the organ cleanly. You will leave him there, bleeding but alive. He will wake up confused, in pain, but he won't know what happened. He will think he was robbed and attacked. No one will ever suspect the quiet laundry boy." They explained the philosophy, the necessity of it. "You think this is evil? No. This is the ultimate form of capitalism, of supply and demand. Why should a rich man in Riyadh die on a waiting list when a spare part is readily available? You are the facilitator of a miracle of modern medicine. You will finally have power over life and death. You will have more power than the doctors, more power than the princes who wear these thobes. Imagine the satisfaction. The secret knowledge. Every time you iron a thobe after this, you will know you are a god of creation and destruction, a reaper in a steam-filled room." I stood there, holding the iron, looking at that faint bloodstain. For a full minute, I wasn't a laundry worker. I was a surgeon, a reaper, a chosen one. The power was absolute, a cold, brilliant certainty. I felt a surge of energy. I picked up my phone to look up the man's number from the receipt. Then my boss walked in, asking why I was just standing there, and the spell shattered. The power vanished, leaving me gasping, my heart hammering, with the horrifyingly clear blueprint for harvesting a man's organs still burning in my mind. I can't tell a soul. 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My name is Salem, I'm 31, and I sell cheap plastic toys from a rusty cart in the sweltering heat of Hofuf. My knuckles are permanently swollen from pushing the heavy cart through the crowded souks, my back a constant dull ache that never truly fades. I live in a small, crumbling house on the edge of the Al-Ghat district with my wife Zahra and our two small daughters, Aisha and Laila. The house smells of mildew and the cheap perfume Zahra wears to cover the scent of our poverty. Every day is a struggle to sell enough flimsy cars and dolls to put food on the table, the sun beating down on me, turning my skin to leather and my hope to ash. It started with a faint, mocking whisper as I was setting up my cart one morning. "Look at this pathetic fuck, selling his little pieces of shit to survive. What a joke." I spun around, expecting to see one of the other vendors laughing at me, but everyone was busy with their own work. Then another voice, higher and more vicious, joined in. "I bet his wife's cunt is as dry and dusty as this town. Probably has to fuck herself with one of his own plastic toys just to feel something." Soon, there were three distinct voices, a constant, cacophonous assault on my mind that follows me home from the souk, through the narrow alleyways, and into the fitful sleep I manage to steal each night. They never, ever stop. They narrate my life with a constant stream of filth and degradation. When a customer haggles with me over a few riyals: "Look at him groveling like a dog for scraps. Worthless piece of shit." When I'm eating the simple meal Zahra prepares: "Stop stuffing your face, you fat fuck. Your daughters are starving while you shovel food into your gullet." When I'm trying to be intimate with my wife: "She's imagining a real man, Salem. Not a pathetic toy seller who can't even provide for his family. She's probably faking every moan." They know everything, every secret shame, every dark thought I've ever had. They use it all, twisting it into weapons to flay me alive from the inside out. Last month, the rage came, hot and blinding. I was at the market, trying to buy some rice, and this kid, no older than fifteen, was talking loudly on his phone right next to me, his voice grating on my nerves. The voices started whispering, then screaming. "SHUT THAT LITTLE FUCKER UP! SMASH HIS PHONE AGAINST THE WALL! SHOVE IT DOWN HIS THROAT!" Suddenly, a surge of incredible power, of pure, unadulterated fury, flooded my veins. The Horny One purred, "Or better yet, take him. Take him home. We could keep him in the cellar. Think of the fun we could have, Salem. We could break him, piece by piece. We could make him beg for death." The Angry One growled in agreement, "FUCKING YES! WE COULD COLLECT HIS TEETH! ONE BY ONE! MAKE A NECKLACE FOR ZAHRA! SHE'D LOVE THAT, WOULDN'T SHE? A REMINDER OF WHAT A REAL MAN CAN DO!" They laid out the whole plan, every disgusting detail. "Follow him. See where he lives. We'll tell you how to take him without anyone seeing. We'll tell you how to keep him quiet. We'll tell you how to make it last. We'll make you a god, Salem. A god of pain." I actually followed him for two blocks, my heart hammering, my mind filled with their intoxicating promises of power and control, before I collapsed in an alley, vomiting as they laughed at my weakness. "Useless. Can't even handle a little power when we give it to you." I can't tell anyone. If I confided in my wife, she'd leave me, taking my daughters with her. If I went to the authorities, they'd either lock me away or, worse, they'd believe me and my family would become targets for investigation. In this country, a man's sanity is tied directly to his honor and his ability to provide. I am already failing at one; I cannot afford to be accused of the other. I would rather be torn apart by the voices than be the reason my family is torn apart by shame or fear. They mock my manhood constantly, calling me "the limp-dicked toy seller" and describing in nauseating detail how they'd fuck my wife in front of me. "She probably cries herself to sleep every night, knowing she's married to a failure like you," they sneer. "Your daughters will grow up ashamed of you. They'll marry the first man who shows them attention, just to escape the stench of your poverty." They imitate my father's voice, his disappointment a constant refrain. "I should have drowned you at birth, Salem. You've brought nothing but shame to our name." Sometimes, when the shop is empty and the sun beats down on my dusty cart, I dream of leaving Hofuf, of leaving Saudi Arabia entirely. But the voices always crush that hope. "WHERE WOULD YOU GO, YOU STUPID FUCK? YOU HAVE NO SKILLS, NO MONEY, NO WORTH. YOU'D END UP IN SOME FOREIGN FACTORY, SWEATING YOUR LIFE AWAY FOR PENNIES. AT LEAST HERE YOU'RE ONLY A FAILURE TO YOUR FAMILY. THERE YOU'D BE A FAILURE TO THE ENTIRE WORLD." I know this is the work of the Ministry of Interior, the Saudi security apparatus. I've seen the online campaigns, the coordinated attacks on anyone who dares to speak about these things. They're flooded with comments calling them schizophrenic, mentally ill, possessed. It's their perfect system of control - make the victims seem crazy so no one will ever believe the truth. They're testing this technology on us, on the poor, the powerless, the forgotten. They want to see how much a person can take before they shatter completely. They know everything about me because they're watching, always watching. They've broken me, and there's nothing left. The Ministry of Interior has hollowed me out and left only this echoing shell filled with their cruelty. "We'll arrange for your father to be fired from his job. We'll fabricate evidence of theft. He'll end up in prison, and your family will be destitute. All because you couldn't keep your mouth shut." to attract attention: dj990444 https://mega.nz/file/vv43XQYA#Eef0biyQ15L7BFuZUT1YpDOak99pYJ4fDscPcpxavNI

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